We both live in Oregon and she's about and hour away from my house so same state different cities!
So no problem there. You don't live a hole continent apart. Nice.
And we downloaded hamachi but it was giving us more problems then anything else. I guess I could always try that again.
I have no idea what tunngle is lol
You could try that again and we'd be happy to give you help. When you want even somewhat "live". And Tunngle is like Hamachi. I never used it, as i never needed it, but some people used it rather then Hamachi.
Hamachi Guide which is for Risk of Rain but can be used for Secrets of Grindea as well
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=194047418
She can't host because she doesn't know how to set up a port and I have no idea how to help her out with that either.
also with her hosting we would have to start the story over!
If, and just IF, it later turns out that she is the better host, you can just transfer your World.save to her and then you have the same story progression. No problem there. Instructions on that are here somewhere in the forum, but if needed just ask.
I actually have tried disabling BOTH of our firewalls. (and i would just need to disable it of the antivirus that we have right? We use webroot)
Sometimes yes and sometimes not. Nobody can really say. There is a really long and detailed guide on steam for another game that helps with configuring the firewall and anti-virus, which will be the following link, but if you want to try that, You should be aware that changing you IP from automatic to static can cause problems with some routers. So you need to remember to change that beack if you encounter any connectivity problems after that.
Should be basically the same but with the Secrets of Grindea stuff
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=193316279